Chesa Boudin has been Recalled. Rejoice.
Chesa Boudin has been recalled as San Francisco’s District Attorney and y’all, I’ve never been happier or more proud to be a San Franciscan. Big shout out to Mary Jung, the campaign manager, and William Oberndorf, our proud Republican Donor that wrote those big, big, checks to make all this happen. (Mary, I know you “identify” as a “Democrat,” but wink-wink-wink — I get it, we are in SF and you gotta play that game. Well, you did have to play that game, but after today, hopefully you can come out like I am coming out. Regardless, congrats anyways — you deserve it.)
What makes me happiest, though, is the number sixty-one. Sixty-one percent of SF came out in this election as proud, loyal, die-hard motherfucking right-wing Republicans. We listened to those right-wing ads, we took Oberndorf’s millions of out-of-state dollars - dollars he could have spent on his favorite Mitch McConnell or our big boy The Donald, but no, he went out of his way and spent it on us — here in SF. God bless that man.
I can say despite my elation that I'm a little jealous of Mary and the Yes-on-H campaign folks, to which I have a question; when you cashed Billy O's massive check and watched the funds clear, did you whisper into the dark night "thank you, daddy?" God, I would have.
Jealousy aside, this is the take-away: We fucking came out as a right-wing majority. I’ve had to hide as a Republican for years. I even had to register as a -gulp-Democrat just to try and fit in. Tomorrow though? Tomorrow, I’ll be wearing my MAGA cap, proud and true.
We don’t have to do the three-winks-with-the-left-eye at public gatherings in SF to find our fellow right-winging conservatives. We don’t have to hide in the shadows, cowering and assuming we’re a small minority swimming in a big pond of libtards. We own this city. Meaning soon, we will own California. OMG — I didn’t think I could get more hard, yet here I am, all four and three-quarter inches just raging, y’all. Just…fucking *raging.*
So the next time I hear the safety glass on my car’s side window burst and I call the cops, I know they’ll come to crack some skulls. I know they’ll arrest that asshole car-window-smasher and Titanic-Blu-Ray stealing thief. The cops won’t go after the ringleaders that purchase the stolen goods, like the bleeding-heart 38%-ers that voted to keep their commie DA in office wanted (and just like their pussy, pro-crime Boudin did.) Nope, they’ll curb-stomp that fucker right then and there, and then— bam! Just like that — no more car break-ins, exactly like it was before Chesa. “Make SF Great Again,” is what I always say.
Oh, the stats show that crime actually somehow went down even with that pinko politically-correct sensitive trans-loving creep screwing everything up? Well can you just imagine how much crime will go down when the mayor appoints a law-and order SF-er, just like you and just like the sixty-one-percent majority of us? I can tell you what’s going to happen — those son-of-a-bitch thieves and shoplifters and drug dealers will be quaking in their queer pink boots.
And look, I don’t want you take offense here and think I’m racist when I say “drug-dealer” or “son-of-a-bitch.” They’re just expressions. I’m not implying that every colored person is a drug dealer, or that every colored person’s mom is an actual bitch, I’m just saying that if you don’t want to do the time, don’t do the crime. Besides, I’ve got colored folks as friends — I’m actually the least racist person I know. I live in SF, after all. Just like you. Because now, we’re all like me.
P.S. — I’ll be selling MSFGA hats in my etsy store. Don’t be scared to wear them in public with pride, because hey — it’s pride month and we have so much to be proud of. We got Chesa out, now lets get The Donald back in. We’re the majority, after all.
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